Excellent at Pitching
by fuckingbrianaman
Summary: Sirius decides to use some colorful expressions to help in his plan to cure his horrible sexual frustration, but he is taking some things for granted... Rating has changed for a reason, folks. Slash, by the way.
1. An Almost Empty Dorm and a Plunger

**Author's Note: Inspiration for this story came from my best friend of all time, Hannah. We were having fun with gay sex euphemisms, and we started joking about "catching" and "pitching". I'm not too overly pleased with the title of this story, but ah well. I apologize for the nonexistent updates for "Neville's Fair Fortune", but the lack of reviews has gotten me down. I wasn't planning on writing for a long while, but this particular story just wouldn't leave me alone. Enjoy the fruits of my and Hannah's insanity. As normal, dedicated to notsoinnoentfangirl and my brother, with the added dedication to Hannah for putting up with me.**

Excellent at Pitching

Sirius decided that it was about time he did something about his sexual frustration. Every day he spent almost all of time with the one person who drove him up the walls with desire, and yet he never made a move. This was so unlike himself that he would have worried about his "sanity", were it not for three little things:

1) This person was one of his best mates.  
2) This person was a bloke.  
3) This person was Remus John Lupin.

Sirius had been in love with Remus since early in their fifth year and the feeling had snuck up on him and attacked him when he had least expected it; needless to say, poor Sylvia Hurst had been extremely shocked to hear a man's name on her boyfriend's lips when he came. Sirius hadn't slept with anyone else after that.

To normal, hormonally stable people a year without sex wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but Sirius liked sex. A lot. He had just never wanted it with another bloke before, and it was an earth shattering experience to discover that the soft curves of a beautiful woman did nothing for him anymore. So he just avoided the whole situation altogether.

It wasn't that Sirius only liked Remus for his – ah, – _endowments_ (although judging by the wonderful glimpses he had caught in the showers, they were more than satisfactory). After the initial shock and denial had worn off from the violently messy break-up between him and Sylvia, he realized just how deeply his affections for the other boy ran. In other words, not only did he want to shag Remus for hours on end, he also wanted to be the one to take his hand when he was sick and fight away the demons that came with the full moon and kiss him and hold him and never let go.

But shagging him was good, too.

And as previously stated; Sirius had a plan to do just that. And it involved the Muggle sport known as "baseball", which he had learned about from Remus himself when his parents had scrounged up enough money to take the Marauders all to a game in Wales. Well, it involved some colorful _references_ to baseball, but as far as Sirius was concerned, the actual sport would take no part in the proceedings…

****

"Moonbeam, darling, I'm bored." Sirius said. Remus was stretched out on his fourposter with his ankles crossed, reading a book. His tie was loosened and his hair messy and Sirius's skin was warm just looking at him. James had gone off to try to woo Lily with some poems he had found in a library book, and after a bit of arguing Peter had followed him to make sure he got to hospital wing if – when – Lily hexed him. ("It's your turn, I did it last time, and Moons did it the two times before then!") So the two remaining Marauders were alone in the dorm room. Sirius's hair was wet from showering after returning from Quidditch practice and his shirt was (par normal) entirely unbuttoned. If asked, he would've denied setting it up that way.

"And what do you propose I do about that?" Remus asked, not even taking his eyes off his book.

"Well…" Sirius said, changing his tone from whiny and playful to smoky and seductive, "We could always play baseball…" He climbed off of his bed and instead took the place at Remus's feet, tucking his legs under him and leaning forward heavily on his arms.

"Is that supposed to be a euphemism for something?" Remus's eyebrows mushed together with confusion as his eyes moved from the page, catching Sirius's breath and sending shivers up his spine when they slid up his revealed chest.

"I've only played baseball with girls before, but I bet you'd just be an _amazing_ catcher… I'll pitch to you any day, if you catch my drift…"

"Oh yes, this is most certainly a euphemism." A laugh was in his voice, but his eyes were unreadable. His book hid under the pillow, perhaps recognizing the look Sirius had and the tone in his voice.

He crawled up Remus's body until he was practically straddling him, whispering, "It's a simple question, Moony: to catch, or not to catch?"

"I bet this has to do with sex. Are you alluding to something involving gay sex?" Remus said, arching an eyebrow and tucking his arms behind his head.

"Are you _suggesting_ something involving gay sex?" Sirius said, lowering himself as if he were doing a push up in extreme slow motion, his lips almost touching Remus's ear when he whispered, "I'll ask the question again: Moons, baby, would you like me to pitch? Because I'm game if you are." Sirius was nervous as hell, and he could feel his heart as it jumped repeatedly at his ribcage, threatening to burst out. There was a beat of pause and he felt his world collapse as Remus pushed him away. He held it together, though, and sat himself on his friend's thighs, faking nonchalance.

"Come on, Pads, you know I don't roll that way." Remus shook his head, a glint in his eyes that was beginning to scare Sirius, who leaned forward again, unwilling to let this be the end of it. His breath – which was minty, as he'd been sure to brush his teeth – ghosted over the werewolf's lips.

"Well that's too bad. How else do you suggest I cure my insufferable… _boredom_?"

He felt Remus shudder under him in what he assumed was disgust and he instantly regretted everything. It had been the truest definition of stupid, putting him through this. How could he have hoped – even the smallest fraction of a hope – that he would get lucky with Remus Lupin? After all, he (the werewolf) was a straight O student (key word being 'straight'), a prefect on his way to becoming Head Boy, the most responsible out of the four Marauders, obviously straight, more interested in books than dating, extremely shy, and did he mention _straight_? Sirius could _Avada_ himself for being so stupid. Thinking and acting quickly, he hopped off the bed and proclaimed that he would go fix that toilet that the house elves had been refusing handle. (Maybe if he hadn't clogged it with his sweater in the first place…)

As he bounded out of the room and slipped into the loo, he couldn't help but mentally kick himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_, he thought angrily. He grabbed the plunger instead of whipping out his wand and attacked the innocent toilet viciously. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!_ He accented each thought with a violent thrust of the oddly useful muggle contraption and continued his psychological chanting. The _slosh_ of the water and his own (none too friendly) mutterings blocked everything from his ears, and he didn't notice that he had company until he felt the warm body pressed against his and the lips tickling his ears.

"You are certainly quite the… ah… _plunger_…" the lips whispered. Sirius knew that voice, and Sirius knew that tone, but never before had he heard Remus Lupin utter something so wholly _sexy_. He (Sirius) gasped and shivered as his body responded without his mind's consent. _Damn_, he thought, _this is sooo not the time to be getting hard…!_ But Remus wasn't done yet.

"I don't think this is a proper way to cure boredom, Padfoot." Arms wound their way around his waist. "What was it you suggested? _Baseball?_" The voice lowered to barely audible. "Let's play that."

Sirius gulped and found use of his vocal cords. "I thought you didn't roll that way," he pointed out, reminding himself that this was all just a bit of joking between friends, there was no way _Moony_ of all people would mean these things, he would back away any second and laugh –

But he didn't. Instead, the grip around Sirius's waist tightened and became acutely aware of something hard and distinctly pronounced greeting him from behind. _It's his wand, it's got to be his wand_, he thought, desperately trying to get a grip on his emotions and his hormones; but oh, it wasn't working – that pressure felt very un-wand-like.

"Well, see," Remus began, his eyelashes fluttering at Sirius's temple, "I was kind of referring to the positions you had assigned, not the sport in general."

"What…?" was the genius response the Animagus managed to come up with, and really, how was he supposed to think with those hands he had dreamed about for so long roaming over his exposed stomach like that? "Where – where the hell is the shy Remy I'm so used to?"

"He got bored and left." And with that, the new, not-so-shy Remy nuzzled Sirius's hair.

"You… you said something… about positions?" the shorter boy asked, his eyes firmly on the seam where the wall met the ceiling, trying hard to not think about those hands exploring his midriff. Teeth bit down hard on lower lip as the fingers flitted higher and found the oh so sensitive circles of skin… Sirius realized he was still clutching the wooden handle of the plunger and his mind jumped to something else he would rather be holding – which, coincidentally enough, was also commonly called wooden…

"Ah, yes. You seem to be under the impression that I would just sit back and catch like a good little submissive werewolf. No such luck."

Sirius's heart imploded as he realized that Remus was just teasing him, didn't mean anything, was only toying with him, probably some stupid dare from Peter or something… How could he had ever thought that Remus actually wanted him, Sirius Orion Black, slacker extraordinaire, inbred son of Walburga and Orion Black, and overall troublemaker? He couldn't, of course not, and now the only thing left for Sirius to do was flee the country and try to start over and fall in love with someone else – or better yet, become a hermit, plan be damned. But his rushed thoughts were interrupted by the voice again, and what it had to say completely fried the already crispy mind that belonged to Sirius.

"You see, I don't catch. For anyone. Not even you, Pads, love." _What? "Love"?!_ And then one of the hands left his chest and his head was being turned and tilted and he was being kissed by the only person he had thought about kissing the past fourteen months, and _damn_ if it hadn't been worth the wait. Remus's lips were incredibly soft in texture, but strong and craving at the same time. They moved over his very lightly at first, but when they found the shorter boy responding they began to dance. Sirius didn't know whose tongue made the first move, but soon they were tasting each other in ways only imagined before then and he found he loved it. He released his grip on the plunger and twisted around in Remus's arms to face him. His own hands slipped around the werewolf's neck and started lightly tugging at the small curls at the nape. Meanwhile, Remus's hands had found their way up under the back of Sirius's shirt and were rubbing and massaging at the muscles, tense with _want_. A groan reverberated against lips, and then they were suddenly drawn away and he was looking into eyes like molten amber.

Remus said, slightly breathless, "I'll only play if you promise I get to be pitcher."

****

**So what'd ya think? If I get enough reviews I'll consider (possibly!! No guarantees!!) continuing where I left off, censorship be damned. Yes, I am bribing you. You know you want it… All you have to do is click that little button…**


	2. Tons of Screaming and Some Magic

**Author's Note: Okay, you all have been asking for it, so here it is: My first ever smut! I tried to keep it in the same mindset that the last chapter was in, but it has been a long time and that was kind of hard. And I'm sorry it has taken me so dreadfully long to update anything, but my internet has been screwy, so I obviously couldn't post the many stories I have finished. On the up side, updates will come faster for a bit, seeing as I have already worked on so many other stories. So, without further ado, I give you the second installment. **

_What the hell,_ was the only thing Sirius could think for a moment, but then he grasped the meaning of those few words and he groaned without making the conscious decision to do so. Images of Remus poised over him, pushing past his barrier, and working him like clay flooded his mind.

"I think that can be arranged," said Sirius, finally getting a grip on his raging hormones. His voice came out husky. Impatient to start, he pulled Remus's head back down to his level and continued with the snogging.

Remus tasted sweet from the huge amount of love he harbored for everyone – his parents, his friends, his teachers, his books, even; there was a spicy tang, a present given by the untamed wolf he became every month and the animalistic instincts it created; he was salty from past tears that never quite dried up and the sweat of the many times he had struggled to hide them; there was even an underlying bitterness, left behind from the years of prejudice and hatred the world had thrown at him; and then there was the particular flavor of Moony, a flavor Bertie Bott himself could never in a million years duplicate. But nowhere in the mix was any form of sour: Nothing about Remus was sour.

Sirius's hands wound their way into hair, even though just seconds earlier his only desire had been to use those hands to rip the clothes from their bodies. He was getting swept up in the majesty that was Remus and he couldn't have cared less.

Some people's minds might have switched over to autopilot in such a situation, but seeing as Sirius's was on autopilot on _normal_ occasions, this seemed to be the one time his brain exploded with thought:

…_James and Peter…_

…_He tastes a bit like chocolate, I think…_

…_Oh, _damn_, do that again…_

…_They'll walk in at any moment…_

…_This is nothing compared to Sylvia Hurst and _how_ could I have not noticed the lack of this…_

…_Plunger, you are now my best friend. Oh, and you too, Baseball…_

_Wait a second – why am _I_ the blasted girl?_

Remus's hands were cupping Sirius's face and his thumbs were running over the cheekbones, drawing a blush that he couldn't see. Sirius came up for air and Remus attacked his jaw line with kisses. Sirius's eyes fluttered between open and slightly veiled as he tried to regain control of his breathing pattern. It took him a good long while to notice that they were still in the lavatory and had not, in fact, traveled around the world in those few short minutes.

Remus had begun sucking and licking at Sirius's neck when the latter said, "Look, the enthusiasm is wonderful and all – and Merlin, I would love it if you never stopped doing that – but I would rather not continue this here. Unless, of course, you want to hop in the shower?"

Remus laughed (_That is the most beautiful sound on the planet…_) and drew up to his full height. His hands, which had fallen to Sirius's shoulders when the mouth-to-mouth kissing had been left behind, ran down Sirius's arms and intertwined their fingers. "No, thank you. As appealing as a shower with you sounds, I'd much rather the first time be in a bed." (_First time implies there will be more, right?_)

This time it was Sirius's turn to laugh, more at the giddy happiness that was pouring into him than what Remus had said. He led the taller boy out of the lavatory and to his (Sirius's) bed. Soon they were both giggling and they collapsed on the mattress in a heap, their faces inches apart. They smiled at each other for a moment, until Sirius once again became aware of a hardness pressing against him, this time on his leg. His grin slowly slipped away and his eyes smoldered. They kissed.

For a while.

A long while.

When they surfaced they were in a slightly more compromising position: Sirius's arms were under Remus's shirt, his legs were wrapped around Remus's waist, and his fingers had dug into Remus's shoulder blades. (_Remus, Remus, Remus – I can't get enough of him!_) The werewolf in question, however, had one of his hands dipping into Sirius's trousers, which were now unzipped and unbuttoned, and his fingers were toying with the hair they found there.

Sirius stared into his friend's (_Lover's?_) eyes and felt the amber color seeping into his veins. This was _Moony_ he was snogging, _Moony_ he was being nearly fondled by, _Moony_ who was making him pant and swear and forget his own name.

Never before had Sirius known a plan to work so well. James would be proud.

(_Speaking of James…_) "What time is it?" asked Sirius. (_Way to dampen the mood, nimrod._)

Remus blinked and checked the wrist of the hand that was not currently making itself at home in the other boy's pants. "Erm, it's about eight-fifty. If I remember correctly, they left at exactly eight-nineteen, so we should be good for a few more hours."

Sirius did the math and decided that "a few more hours" was probably more like thirty minutes – at least before Peter showed up – and he said so.

"No, I'd be surprised if James has even found Lily yet. She's hiding in the dungeons and he'll never think to look there." Remus chuckled. "Clever girl."

"Okay, but just in case, you think we should lock the door or pull the curtains to or something?"

Remus nodded, drew his wand from his back pocket (_I was right: That hadn't been his wand I felt earlier._), and cast the locking charm, followed by a handy spell for locomotion. The door shut with a thump and the bed hangings zipped along the railing and met in the middle. Anywhere Sirius looked – except for, of course, at the other boy – was red. (_Red for passion, red for heat, and red for love. Or something like that._) Sirius took the werewolf's face in his hands, looked him directly in the eyes, and gave him the option to end it there. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered, dreading the answer.

Confusion painted Remus's face. "Why wouldn't I? It's you I'm worried about – how can I know you won't regret this in the morning? How can I know what this is to you? Sex? A joke? Some kind of temporary mental illness that has you wanting to lie underneath me and kiss me and let me hold you?

"What could make me possibly not want this?"

Sirius pulled Remus's lips down to his and kissed him lightly once, twice, three times, before murmuring, "You're a loon," against his cheek. "You're nuttier than squirrel poo to think I'd use you like that, Remy. I may have had some raunchy flings with birds and then tossed them in the bin, but you aren't just some girl." He rolled his eyes and smiled, full of the scent of Remus's skin and a happiness that was coming from somewhere right above his straining erection. "Fuck me, and fuck me hard. Remind me why I spent most of the last week rehearsing stupid sexual innuendoes in the mirror and praying that James and Peter would magically disappear. Make me scream, wolf-man. Make me beg for mercy."

A delectable moan escaped Remus's parted lips (_No, I take it back. That is _much_ better than his laugh._), and he buried his face in the pillow to the right of Sirius, who suddenly felt something gripping him in a wonderful way.

A hand, wrapped around his cock, squeezing ever so slightly, making him crave more. "Neug," he said as he thrust mindlessly into the callused pressure. "Shit, Remy, help me out here!"

A growl, from the pillow beside him, "No. Clothes off first. You aren't naked enough." And then Remus was sitting above him and the pressure was gone but he was quickly yanking off his own clothes, mirroring the other boy's actions, and he had some trouble with his boxers because they kept getting caught on Sirius Junior, who was standing up proudly to greet the world, but then Remus bent over and

everything

stopped

because he was licking Sirius's cock.

"Please, sir, may I have some more?" Sirius tried to say, but it came out more like, "Ohhhhghaam – Merlin! Naaahgm fuckyespleaseohshitthat'snice!" He felt hands brushing his thighs and he was colder than he had been before and he had enough sense left in his rapidly empting brain to register that his undershorts had been properly disposed of.

Sirius looked down and watched as Remus teased him, licking and leaving long trails of cold behind in his wake, but never taking him in completely. Sirius needed to feel him, to know that this was real, so he reached down and entangled his fingers into the sandy mop of hair that was bobbing directly above his crotch. "If you don't – ohsh – stop – stop! – right bloody now – oh damn – I'm – I'm going to c-come – p-please…"

And stop Remus did, but only long enough to take the final steps in stripping himself, pulling out of his own boxers and tossing them aside, and then his lips were back on Sirius's and everything was spinning because there was a friction on his cock, a friction he had never felt before, a friction caused by the trail of hair that danced around Remus's navel and continued on to his groin, and everything was hot, burning, and there was chest but it was carved instead of soft, and there were hands but they were strong instead of delicate, and there was dominance, but it was on the other end. Every thought in Sirius's head was jumbled together and everything was one big breath because he was snogging the most amazing, beautiful, perfect person on the planet and there was that threat in the back of his mind that at any moment someone could unlock the door and come waltzing in and it was that fear that made this so much better, because this was clumsy and rough but _Merlin_ he had missed this, he had wanted this, and somehow this was even better than the dreams he had known for so long.

The kiss broke, and Remus started fumbling around in the covers, searching for something. Sirius caught on and started digging as well, and he found his wand before the other boy, and he was the one who cast the silencing charm, and he was the one who started sucking at parts of the face other than the lips the moment said wand had been tossed away. First the jaw line, where there was scratchy stubble and a sheen of sweat that tasted better than anything else, including the pudding Mrs. Potter made during the summer. Second were the ears, which were as soft as the lips and so much fun to nibble.

Sirius switched his focus to Remus's neck, which he found tasted even better than his jaw: Veins and tendons that moved whenever Remus swallowed; his Adam's apple, which was so perfect for Sirius to swirl his tongue around; and finally, the pulsing of blood that reminded Sirius just how real this was. He couldn't help himself, and bit down.

If sex could be summed up in one sound, one melodious, frustrated, painful, lovely sound, it was Remus's moans. Something about those moans unhooked Sirius's conscious thought process and he began acting on animal instincts alone. _Touch, feel, possess. _

Sirius stopped biting and pulled away enough to look at Remus, to take him in with all his glory. His arms, the way they were shaking slightly from exertion; his chest, which was defined and scarred and somehow glowing golden; the _hair_, the hair no female had; and his cock (_Holy shit, this is better than any sucky shower glimpse!_), which was uncircumcised and leaking.

He had to touch it, to feel it, to possess. So he did.

Sirius used both hands, starting with Remus's arms, which were thin compared to his, but still stronger than he would have expected. He stroked the skin carefully, afraid that if he pressed too hard he would somehow jinx it. Forearm, elbow, then towards the shoulder, where he could see the scratches left behind by his own fingernails, and then the chest. Sirius tore his eyes away from Remus's body long enough to look into his eyes, which were trained on Sirius's hands.

Sirius, returning to his "work," ran his index fingers in little circles around Remus's nipples. He loved the way they puckered at the contact, as well as the noises their owner was making.

Those hisses and moans and almost-swear words were what pushed Sirius to stop ogling and make the move they were both waiting for. Two hands encompassed Remus's rather impressively erect cock. (_He is going to hurt, going in._) Veins were there as well, but they were different. Pulsing harder, radiating sexual heat, and twitching slightly, these veins were _very_ different. Sirius began squeezing.

And stroking.

And he paused occasionally to rub Remus's balls and look at Remus's face, which changed in time with the rhythm of Sirius's ministrations, even as they became harder and faster.

"Stop," the taller teen finally said in a weak voice, his eyes closed. "I need… inside you… now…"

Sirius did as he was told, but had to ask, "How do you want me?" There was a pause, and then he added, "Doggie style?" because he knew it would be easier for their first time.

Remus smiled and opened his eyes. "Hate to break it to you, Pads, but no matter what position, as long as it's _us_, it'll always be doggie style. But yes, on your face, arse in the air. Present yourself to me. Oooh… No, wait a second…" Remus closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip, and Sirius watched in confusion, hardly daring to breathe.

"What, in the name of Merlin's pants, are you doing?"

"Trying really, really hard not to come. Mental image. Of you. With your arse… Oh shhh…"

A pause. "Think about that time Peter drew the smiley face on his stomach and made it talk by squishing his belly-button."

Remus laughed and took a deep breath before continuing. "I… I think I'm good now." He sat up and looked at Sirius as he flipped over, tucked his knees into his torso, and spread his legs as far as they would go while still keeping his hips raised. There was a beat, so much like only a few dozen minutes earlier, as Sirius worried and Remus hesitated.

And then he moved.

Sirius's wand in the werewolf's hand cast the lubrication charm that made Sirius feel cold and slippery and then there was a pushing at his entrance, and then a feeling of being stretched – neither of them had thought of any form of preparation other than lube – and then a burning so utterly unlike the heat of foreplay that had been driving him on before.

This was pain – a pain inside of him that seemed to sear his corneas, a pain that he could _hear_, an aching that spread through his entire body and took over his mind.

But it couldn't touch his heart, and soon it was fading, and he realized that Remus hadn't moved an inch. "I'm fine. It's going away."

"I really don't want – ugm! – I really don't want to hurt you but – Merlin, it's hard to not move."

"I'll scream in pleasure, scream in pain, don't give a damn, I'll scream your name."

"That's very poetic of you."

"I'm surprised I could come up with it, seeing as I'm currently impaled on your cock."

Remus moaned again (_And the heavens shuddered in pleasure…_), and then he began to thrust his hips, rolling into Sirius, slowly at first, then harder, and every pulse shook the foundation of life that Sirius had learned to cling to over the years.

His family –

_What family?_

James and Peter –

_Who gives a Niffler's backside?_

He was making a lot of noise, screaming like that –

_Silencing charm, my friend._

Even You-Know-Who was bound to hear –

_Let him come (no pun intended). He'll be blown away by this amazing sex._

Remus continued drilling into him, harder and harder, now hitting that sweet spot with each thrust of his hips, making Sirius seeing sparks every time, and someone was moaning his name in his ear and it must have been Remus because there wasn't anyone else in the room, but he could barely hear it, he was shouting so loud, shouting profanities mixed with prayers, and a name, the same name over and over again, _Remus, Remus, Remus…_

More stimulation, this time coming from his nipples, which he found his lover (_Oh, that is an amazing title for him: Remus Lupin, My Lover._) was toying with, and he was afraid he was going to fall off of the edge of the planet, so Sirius let all of his weight shift to his forehead, and he reached behind him and clung to the strong shoulders, shoulders that could have only gotten that filled from years of fighting the beast, and his fingernails dug in and he was screaming into the pillow, but nothing he said was intelligible, and then a hand was once again curling around his cock and moving in time with the thrusts they were both now participating in –

And Sirius came, shuddering, and every muscle in his body clenched –

And there was a filling sensation, different from before, liquid, and in a strange way, warmer –

And Remus was panting in his ear, muttering his name –

Slowly the world fell back into place. Remus pulled out of Sirius, leaving him feeling cold but still somehow full, and at that moment Sirius's knees gave, and he collapsed and rolled over onto his side. He felt a _thud_ as the straw-haired boy landed beside him.

For a good while they just laid there in companionable silence, something Sirius was new at. Of course, then again, catching was also something he was new at, and that hadn't stopped him.

He didn't mind that he was sticky with come (_Mine or his…?_) and that his breathing was ragged and torn, just so long as Remus kept looking at him like that, as if the secret to life could be found in his silver eyes. Without thinking about it, Sirius leaned forward and kissed the other boy tenderly and scooted closer for a better reach. They wrapped their arms around each other and Sirius yawned into Remus's shoulder.

Then he drifted, floating on the afterglow that was left behind by only the best of sex… And Remus's breath was ghosting on his hair… And he was so incredibly warm…

But a thought suddenly jarred him from his almost-nap, and he blurted out, "This isn't a one-night stand, you know. I want there to be more of this." He stroked Remus's collar bone with his fingertips.

"What do you mean? Like… Friends with benefits?"

"No! I mean, I want… For us…" Sirius sighed, and decided to just ask the question. "As cheesy and stupid as this is going to sound, will you be my boyfriend?"

Remus tensed, and for what seemed to be the millionth time that evening (_Night?_) Sirius felt as if he would shatter. "You deserve someone much better than me, you know that, right? And what we just did? Insanely irresponsible. Not that I'd ever take it back or anything – it was fantastic – but we could have been caught – I didn't even know you were… you know…" said the werewolf, trailing off at the end.

Sirius shook his head. "I don't care how bloody irresponsible that was, or who could have seen, or that I just had the best sex of my life – what am I talking about? Of course I care, it was like the earth just shook under my feet – er, knees… But I just want an answer. Would you, Remus John Lupin, be the boyfriend to this lowly Sirius Orion Black? Because you're the only person I've wanted for a long time now – at least a year – and I can't see myself with anyone but you."

A pause, while Remus stared into his eyes, deliberating (_I love his thinking face…_), and then, "'I think that can be arranged.'" And they kissed a few dozen times more.

The last thing Sirius thought before falling asleep was, _Best. Baseball game. Ever. _

**So… How was it…? Please oh please review, because I need to know if this was complete crap or not. And I want honest answers. If you don't like the way I used all those run on sentences, I am sorry, but that is how it was in my head, and therefore, that is how I wanted it in the story. On another note, I am also writing a Chapter Three, which is about… Well, you'll have to wait and see. And once again, please, please review, because if you don't, how will I ever know if I should write more like this?**


	3. Some Alternate Methods of Waking Up

**Author's Note: Erm… Yeah… You guys have waited long enough, so I'll just get on with it, then. I'll ramble at the bottom.**

Sirius was warm – insanely warm; amazingly warm; perfectly warm. His pillow felt a lot different than it normally did (harder, somehow shaped strangely) and the sheets seemed to be damp with sweat, but _Merlin_, he loved this warmth. He was just so comfortable. Cozy, he supposed in his half-asleep state of mind. This was the kind of feeling you only got when you woke up next to someone you loved after a good shag. Scratch that; a great shag. _But that's preposterous_, Sirius thought. He had never let himself stay the night with someone after a sexual escapade before and he certainly hadn't ever been in love with the someone he happened to be bedding. _Sleep now and think later_, he finally decided.

Sirius snuggled closer into the warmth. For half a sleepy moment he wondered why his blankets were suddenly firm and solid instead of the soft fluffiness he was used to, but as previously stated, he was almost completely dead to the world and such thoughts were soon chased from his head by more pressing matters, such as getting back to the dream he had just drifted out of. Now, if only he could remember what it had been about…

_A hand running below his belt, a burning sensation where ever contact was made. Sirius didn't know if it was his skin that was so hot or his partner's, and yet he couldn't bring himself to care. Lips on his, almost like a dementor's in the fact that they seemed to be pulling out his very soul, but they were much softer and there was a hand in his hair, but not the hair that framed his face, oh no, this hair was much shorter and curlier and lower, and then there were eyes in his line of vision, bright and amber and so familiar… _

_Oh shit._

That had not been just a dream.

Sirius's eyes flew open and he found himself staring at the sleeping face of none other than Remus John Lupin. For that split second before the impact of what he had done set in, he was breathless. Moony looked so unbearably vulnerable and open that Sirius couldn't bring himself to regret anything, and if he remembered correctly – which he was positive he did – Remus had been the one to initiate what had happened. In that split second he remembered every feeling he had ever had about Remus and he felt it all again, this time multiplied exponentially.

_He said he'd be my boyfriend…_

But Sirius had a nagging feeling that Moony would feel different, now that they faced Peter and James, as well as everyone else the whole goddamned school.

Again, _Oh shit._

Remus was so shy about sexual things, especially when they involved him. How in the world was Sirius supposed to get him to come out to everyone?

Funny, though, how last night (or at least he assumed it had been last night, as he didn't have any idea what time it was now or how long he'd been asleep) Remus had been the one in charge, the one dominating, the one pitching, and now here he was, curled up against Sirius's chest, as if he were the girl. Although Sirius did have to give the werewolf some credit, as his arm was currently serving as the former's pillow.

Unfortunately that was also the arm that had his watch on it, so Sirius couldn't check it. He had half a mind to wake his partner in crime up, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Peace was not an easy thing for people with Remus's predicament to come by, but – if the expression of a sleeping man could be trusted – he had found it, and there was no way in hell Sirius would ruin that.

He closed his eyes and relaxed, trying to ignore his morning erection. This was just bliss, and he could see no reason to disrupt it.

Except for the tugging sensation in his gut that was telling him he needed to know what time it was. Plus there was something digging into his hip, and it wasn't exactly comfortable. Sirius groaned and gave in to awareness.

Although he loathed doing so, he unlatched his grip around Remus and sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking for any signs of life in the dormitory. The curtains were still drawn, but that didn't mean anything. He twisted around – his back gave off a string of pops – and checked Remus' watch. Three twenty-seven. Merlin, he was sore. He shifted his weight to try to relieve some of the burning pressure and gave a small yelp when something jabbed into the back of his upper thigh. After some whispered curses, he pried the offending object out from under his rump, only to find that he had just been beaten up by the book Remus had stashed under his pillow. More foul language followed this discovery.

Sirius ripped back the curtains and tossed _Wandering Waters Bewitched_ over the side of the bed, silently hoping it fell through the floorboards to hell. Rubbing his eyes, he settled back down, wrapping his arms around Remus when he found a comfortable position. "You are such a puppy when you sleep," he whispered to the snoozing form. The smell of lemons was wafting up from the werewolf's hair, and Sirius found it oddly familiar. He didn't traditionally make a habit of walking up to his friends and sniffing their scalps, but he realized then that this scent had haunted his thoughts just as much as the image of Remus's face had, only on a more subconscious level. _That's just dandy._

For as long as his short attention span would allow, Sirius stayed in that position and cuddled his (hopefully) boyfriend. But holding a completely naked and completely scrumptious Remus Lupin while sporting a majorly pitched tent wasn't a task that Sirius could accomplish while keeping his innocence intact. Before long, more images from their recent escapade were dancing behind his eyes, and _oooohh_ Sirius wanted to do it again. Being him, he vaguely thought about fucking the other man awake, but figured that would be considered rude. Instead, he decided to go with a simple snog.

Remus didn't take to well to the idea.

Next thing Sirius knew, he was getting re-acquainted with that damned book, his arse hurt something terrible, and Moony was glaring down at him from the bed, eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"I'm sorry Sirius, but you scared me," he said with a bit of anger.

"Bloody hell, you didn't have to kick me onto the floor!"

"Well, it isn't my fault. I'm not exactly used to waking up with another bloke kissing me."

Sirius climbed gingerly back into the bed. "Let's just say it was the safer option."

"The other one being…?" Remus prompted, looking wary. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and Sirius thought he had never looked more adorable.

"Fucking the brains out of you."

Without missing a beat, Remus replied, "Please, you'd just be my bitch all over again."

Sirius' sick and twisted mind found this statement to be extremely provocative, whether it was because of its implications or the sexual way the common curse slid off of Remus' tongue. But whatever the reason, next thing he knew he was practically molesting Remus' mouth with his own. Fortunately Remus responded positively and no one was shoved off of the bed this time, and instead the two men enjoyed a rather wonderful game of tonsil hockey.

Sirius' mind did that explode-y thing it was so prone to doing. It was marvelous.

Well, except for the blanket that kept getting in the blasted way. He could have none of that, not when Remus was naked and so very willing, so, naturally, he had to get rid of it. Which meant breaking the kiss, an act that was on Sirius' No-No list, but sacrifices had to be made, because after the damned thing was gone they were kissing again, and then their bodies lined up, and it was better than brilliant. This time, Sirius didn't think about Peter or James or anything else, because this time it was different, and cold, so very cold because there weren't any blankets covering them up, but it was warm, on fire, so bloody hot, and _fuck Remus, shit_ was about all he could say, but Merlin it was good. It didn't take long, and he was close, so fucking close, and all they were doing was grinding like fools, but Sirius knew that that's pretty much what they were, so it was okay, and the kisses were sloppy, and their breathing was heavy, but that made it all the more enjoyable –

– Until the door to the dorm opened.

"Hey, are you guys – GAAAH!" shouted Peter, who had, in Sirius' opinion, the worst timing in the world.

"Shit!" exclaimed Sirius as he hastily jumped up, and, in an attempt to grab the quilt and spare him and Remus some dignity, tumbled to the floor. Again. His muscles protested loudly.

"Oh, God," added Remus sagely. He, at least, managed to obtain the covers, though, and without falling, despite his flushed complexion.

"Could you two have at least closed the damn curtains?" shouted Peter, who had spun on his heel and was now staring furiously at the wall. His ears were bright red.

"Could you have knocked?" countered Sirius as he quickly threw himself under Remus' makeshift censorship, sore arse be damned.

"Shut up," said Remus, his vocabulary apparently returned. "You two are being ridiculous. Peter, Padfoot is right. There's going to be a lot more of this going on in the future –" (Sirius felt his face light up.) "– and you need either need to learn to knock or get prepare to be hexed."

"How'd you get in?" asked Sirius abruptly. "We locked the door."

Peter began to answer but didn't even get a single word out before he interrupted himself. "Is it safe to look now?"

"Yeah," said Remus.

Peter turned back to face them and visibly relaxed when he saw that they were decent. "I unlocked it, of course. And, before you ask, James is in the Hospital Wing. He's got two noses on each foot, and don't you dare make a smelly feet joke, because those've _already_ been worn out."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, lordie, Evans is brilliant! Remind me to tell her so next time I see her, would you Worm?"

"I don't really think she cares about any compliment _you_ might give her," said Remus with a crooked smile. "You're guilty by association."

"Oh, you shut your wolf-y trap."

Remus' grin widened, and he stuck out his tongue, proving that he could be just as immature.

"You know," said Sirius, "I'd bite that thing off except I think dear Pete would die of embarrassment."

It was Remus' turn to laugh, and the sound sent warm tingles up Sirius' body. "So true. And I'd simply hate for that to happen."

"Naw," said Peter airily. "I don't mind. It means James owes me ten Galleons." Sirius spotted that familiar Eye-Twinkle of Trouble in him and felt a sudden burst of pride. His little Marauder was finally growing up.

"You mean to tell me that you and Prongs had a running bet on us getting together," said Remus in disbelief. Peter blushed.

"Not exactly. It was more like when you two poufs'd finally come to your senses and start snogging each other. I win."

"What'd Jamie say?" asked Sirius, intrigued.

"His bet was that we'd graduate and you two would find a place together as friends but end up getting drunk and shagging before finally becoming 'an item.'" Peter paused for a second. When he continued, his voice was hesitant and awkward, as if he really didn't want to say it. "And… You've got to answer, even though I sincerely don't want to know, but it was another bet we'd made, so… Well, I guess… Who's, you know, topping?"

While Remus was busy looking affronted, Sirius laughed. "Who d'you think? Mr. Big Bad Werewolf, or me, a mangy dog that's half his size?"

Peter's face fell slightly, but his blush increased. "Damn it. Five Galleons, then."

**Author's Note: Please forgive me! I know this took waaaay too damned long to be updated, but my brain kept saying 'No!' I really and truly apologize and repent from my wicked ways. I am trying to catch up on all of my chapter fics, since A Sirius Spectrum seems to be the only thing my subconscious cares to work with right now. My OCD has been begging me to come back to this story, and VOILÀ! I'm here! Er, yeah… I'm just going to go hide behind a dumpster now… ^_^ But that doesn't mean you shouldn't review!**


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